may work

may: control

May 16

monthly theme: [control]

We intended to get intimate with our ideas about control, opening ourselves up to seeing our patterns in a new way. Examining how control plays a role in our day to day, we noticed what control has meant to us, but now what…? What’s the work?

It seems like each 3rd week, I bring up the idea of “letting go” or “releasing expectations and old beliefs.” I’m beginning to think the work for everything is practicing loving detachment. Which I know doesn’t sound like much of a solution for all that plagues our society and all the ways in which those plagues compound the damage of Covid-19.

What I’m finding with control is that after we can accept how little of it we actually have, the work is ultimately discovering when to push and when to pull or when to relax and float along with the ebb and flow of it all. It’s a skill I’m still working on myself, and understanding where my sphere of control begins and ends in each situation really helps me to not only have a greater impact on my world, but also create more inner peace.

I’m not fighting battles that aren’t mine, I don’t get too apathetic when it comes to the global ills we face. It’s not ignorance, it is acceptance of what I can do in each moment. Especially when we become adults, most anything is just another decision--like what to eat for breakfast or wear to work.

Control can be manipulation, or it can be simple, compassionate, and effective communication. Control is about understanding consequences, boundaries, cause and effect while keeping realistic expectations (one could argue that means having no expectations at all).

Like I said in the first week of this month, the only control we have might just be over the meaning we make of this life. So just make sure the meaning you’re making is known by those involved and that it aligns with your highest desires, not just your frightened ego.